72-Hour Sous-Vide Short Rib Brownies (50 mg Each)
These are not brownies. These are the final boss of edibles: fudgy, midnight-black slabs that taste like a Texas barbecue and a Parisian pâtisserie had a love child in the middle of a 50 mg knockout punch. Prime beef short ribs cooked sous-vide for 72 hours in a bath of cannabis-infused rendered beef fat until they melt like butter, then folded into the darkest Valrhona chocolate brownie batter known to science. One square and you’ll forget your own name, remember your ancestors, and schedule a nap for next Tuesday.
Makes 12 civilized squares (or 6 absolute monsters)
Active time: 4 hours | Total time: 78 hours + 10-day infusion
Dosage: 50 mg THC per square (600 mg total in the batter)
Start the infusion 10 days ahead.
Take 0.39 oz (11.11 g) cannabis flower testing 22 % THC (exactly 600 mg usable after everything). Decarboxylate at 237 °F for 57 minutes, then leave in the turned-off oven another 40 minutes to cool.
Make the infused beef tallow (makes about 2½ lb / exactly 600 mg usable THC)
3.3 lb raw grass-fed beef suet (the hard white fat from around the kidneys)
0.39 oz freshly decarbed flower, coarsely ground
1 tsp sunflower lecithin granules
2 shallots, halved
4 sprigs thyme
2 bay leaves
Render the suet in a heavy pot over the lowest heat until completely melted and clear (3–4 hours). When it hits 185 °F, add shallot, thyme, bay, lecithin, and weed. Hold at 185 °F in a water bath for exactly 3 hours, stirring every 30 minutes. Strain hot through triple cheesecloth, then again through a coffee filter once cooled to 100 °F. Chill solid—it’ll be pure white and smell like Sunday dinner had a baby with the best weed you’ve ever had.
Short ribs
6½–7 lb bone-in prime short ribs, cut English style (about 3 big racks)
The entire batch of infused tallow above + extra clean tallow if needed to cover
3 tbsp kosher salt
2 tbsp coarse black pepper, toasted and cracked
6 garlic cloves, smashed
4 sprigs rosemary
Season ribs hard with salt and pepper. Vacuum-seal with garlic and rosemary (double-bag so nothing leaks). Sous-vide at exactly 156 °F for 72 hours. Shock bags in ice water 1 hour, then fridge overnight. Next day, pull the meat—it should shred if you look at it wrong. Chop any big pieces to ¼-inch dice. Warm the bag juice, strain, and save ¾ cup + 2 tbsp for the batter.
Brownie batter
14 oz 100 % Valrhona cocoa mass (or best unsweetened chocolate)
12½ oz European-style unsalted butter (Plugra or similar)
2½ cups granulated sugar
1 cup packed dark muscovado sugar (or dark brown)
6 large eggs + 2 yolks, room temp
1½ cups all-purpose flour
1 tbsp kosher salt
¾ cup + 2 tbsp reserved warm short-rib bag juice
All the shredded short-rib meat (about 2 lb after cooking)
Melt cocoa mass and butter to 122 °F. Whisk sugars and eggs until thick ribbons. Fold in chocolate mixture, then the warm bag juice. Sift flour and salt, fold just until combined. Fold in the short-rib meat gently. Pour into a buttered, parchment-lined 9 × 13-inch pan (batter about 1¼ inches thick). Bake at 325 °F convection for exactly 38 minutes—center should hit 195 °F and jiggle slightly. Cool completely in the pan, then chill 6 hours before cutting into a 6 × 2 grid.
To serve
Warm squares 20 seconds at 300 °F. Hit with flaky Maldon salt and, if you’re extra, a drop of 12-year balsamic reduction.
50 mg THC per square.
Eat half and you’ll speak fluent brisket.
Eat a whole one and you’ll wake up in 2026 with a new religion based on beef and chocolate. 🇺🇸