Birthday Cake Batter Edibles (Confetti Included)
(25 mg each – the one that makes grown adults giggle like it’s 1997)
This is straight-up raw cake batter you can eat by the spoonful without salmonella worries and with a fat 25 mg that tastes exactly like the stolen licks from mom’s mixing bowl — but now it sends you to the moon. Zero weed taste, maximum nostalgia.
Makes ≈28–30 cookie-dough style bites · Total batch 750 mg active THC (25 mg per piece)
Daily Allowance Snapshot (per bite)
Calories 112
Total Fat 7 g
Carbs 12 g
├ Sugars 9 g
Active THC 25 mg
Allergens: Dairy, Gluten (GF option below)
Infusion Base (do ahead)
- 5.2–5.5 g flower @ 20–22 % THC
- Decarb 240 °F × 40 min → ~750 mg usable
- Infuse into ¾ cup (170 g) clarified canna-butter (use the pro technique from #21) → crystal-clear, flavorless 750 mg gold
Edible “Batter”
¾ cup (170 g) 750 mg clarified canna-butter, softened to room temp
¾ cup light brown sugar
¼ cup granulated sugar
¼ cup whole milk (or canned coconut milk for dairy-free)
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
½ tsp butter extract (optional but makes it taste illegal)
½ tsp fine sea salt
2 cups heat-treated all-purpose flour*
⅔ cup rainbow sprinkles (the long flat quin kind, not non-bleeding)
1 cup white chocolate chips
*Heat-treat flour: microwave in 30-sec bursts stirring between until it hits 165 °F or bake 350 °F for 5 min. Kills bacteria, keeps it raw-tasting.
Steps – 10 minutes, no baking
1. In a stand mixer or with a hand mixer, cream the 750 mg canna-butter with both sugars until fluffy (2–3 min).
2. Add milk, vanilla, butter extract, and salt. Beat until smooth.
3. Mix in heat-treated flour on low until just combined.
4.
4. Fold in sprinkles and white chocolate chips by hand so colors don’t bleed.
5. Scoop with a 1¼-inch cookie scoop (≈28–30 balls). Roll smooth if you’re fancy.
6. Chill 30 min to firm up (optional but makes them perfect).
Storage
Airtight container in fridge → 3 weeks
Freezer → 3 months (they never fully freeze, perfect for sneaking)
GF version
Swap flour for 1½ cups almond flour + ½ cup coconut flour + 2 tbsp cornstarch. Texture is even softer.
Effect
Onset 45–75 min, peaks hard at hour 2, lasts 5–7 hours of pure childhood joy in adult doses. You will laugh at things that aren’t funny, demand a second dinner of cereal, and fall asleep smiling.
Serving tip
Keep them in a cute tin labeled “NOT FOR KIDS” in Sharpie. Because one bite and you’re eight years old again… except now you can legally buy wine.
Happy birthday to whoever gets these. They won’t remember how old they are, but they’ll remember it was the best one yet.