Cannabis-Infused "Midnight Rendezvous" Smoked Salmon & Capers Cream Cheese Bagels

Cannabis-Infused "Midnight Rendezvous" Smoked Salmon & Capers Cream Cheese Bagels

A Note on Dosing: This recipe makes 2 generously stuffed bagels, serving 2 as a luxurious breakfast or brunch. We calculate based on a 15% THC flower. You must calculate your own dose based on your cannabis potency. This is a decadent, no-cook morning infusion—perfect for a slow, elevated start to Valentine's Day. The cannabis is in the cream cheese, which means every single bite is gently, evenly medicated.

Approximate Dose (using 0.5g of 15% THC flower): ~18mg THC per bagel. Adjust your cannabis amount for desired potency. Consider using 0.3g for a lighter ~11mg per bagel if you have a full day ahead.

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Step 1: The Cannabis-Infused Everything Bagel Cream Cheese

Ingredients:

· 0.5 grams cannabis flower (choose a bright, citrus-forward strain with Limonene and Ocimene)
· 8 oz high-quality cream cheese, full fat, softened
· 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
· 1 tablespoon everything bagel seasoning (plus more for sprinkling)
· 1 teaspoon lemon zest
· 1 teaspoon fresh dill, finely chopped
· 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
· 1/4 teaspoon sea salt
· 1/8 teaspoon black pepper

Decarboxylation Method:

1. Preheat oven to 225°F (107°C).
2. Finely grind cannabis flower and spread on parchment-lined baking sheet.
3. Bake for 35-40 minutes until lightly browned and fragrant. Cool completely.

Infusion Method (Cream Cheese, No Heat):

1. In a medium bowl, combine the softened cream cheese and butter.
2. Using a hand mixer or a sturdy spatula, beat until completely smooth, fluffy, and well combined.
3. Finely grind the decarboxylated cannabis into a powder using a clean coffee grinder or mortar and pestle. Grind until it's a fine, fluffy powder—no visible plant material.
4. Add the finely ground cannabis to the cream cheese mixture. Beat vigorously for 3-5 minutes until the cannabis is fully incorporated and no green streaks remain. This ensures even distribution.
5. Add the everything bagel seasoning, lemon zest, dill, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Beat until combined.
6. This is your Cannabis-Infused Everything Bagel Cream Cheese. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour to firm up and allow flavors to meld. Can be made 3 days ahead.

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Step 2: The Bagel Assembly

Ingredients:

· 2 high-quality bagels (everything bagels are ideal, but plain or sesame work beautifully)
· 4-6 oz cold-smoked salmon (lox)
· Your Cannabis-Infused Everything Bagel Cream Cheese
· 1/4 small red onion, thinly sliced on a mandoline
· 1/2 cup arugula or watercress
· 2 tablespoons capers, drained
· Fresh dill sprigs
· Lemon wedges
· Flaky sea salt and cracked black pepper
· Optional: Thinly sliced cucumber, heirloom tomato, or pickled red onion

Equipment:

· Serrated knife
· Toaster or oven
· Offset spatula

Method:

1. Toast the Bagels:

· Split bagels in half with a serrated knife.
· Toast until golden and crisp at the edges. A perfect bagel should be warm and slightly crunchy outside, soft and chewy inside.

2. Spread the Infusion:

· Generously spread both halves of each bagel with a thick, luxurious layer of your Cannabis-Infused Everything Bagel Cream Cheese.
· Do not skimp. This is the vehicle.

3. Layer:

· On the bottom half of each bagel, layer a small handful of arugula or watercress.
· Drape the smoked salmon in loose, elegant folds over the greens.
· Scatter red onion slices and capers over the salmon.
· Add fresh dill sprigs, a tiny pinch of flaky sea salt, and a crack of black pepper.

4. Close & Serve:

· Gently place the top half of the bagel over the filling. Do not press down too hard—you want to admire the layers.
· Slice each bagel in half on a sharp diagonal.
· Arrange on a plate with a lemon wedge and extra fresh dill.

5. The Optional Luxe Touch:

· For an even more opulent experience, add a tiny dollop of caviar or trout roe to each bagel half.
· A sprinkle of fresh chives or microgreens adds color and freshness.

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Safety, Morning Ritual & The Experience

CRITICAL NOTES:

⚠️ BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS: This is a full, substantial infused meal. Do not make this for unsuspecting houseguests or family brunch.
⚠️ LABEL CLEARLY: Mark the cream cheese container "CANNABIS-INFUSED - ~18mg PER BAGEL." If you have leftovers, wrap them individually and label.
⚠️ COMMUNICATE: "I made us special bagels. The cream cheese is infused. Let's take our time this morning."
⚠️ START WITH HALF A BAGEL: At ~18mg per whole bagel, half is a perfect 9mg serving. Wait 90 minutes before finishing the rest.
⚠️ CHILD-SAFE STORAGE: Infused cream cheese looks like regular cream cheese. Locked, labeled, out of reach.

The Morning Ritual:

This is not a bagel you eat standing at the counter, rushing out the door. This is a bagel you plate. You pour two glasses of fresh orange juice or bloody marys. You sit across from each other in natural light, in pajamas or robes, with nowhere to be and nothing to do but be together.

The cream cheese is impossibly creamy, studded with everything bagel seasoning and bright lemon zest. The salmon is silky and briny. The capers pop with salt. And beneath it all, the warm, citrusy hum of the cannabis infusion turns breakfast into a destination.

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Romantic Presentation:

Serve on a wooden board or two small plates. Tuck a single fresh flower—a rose, a ranunculus, a sprig of lavender—beside the bagels. Pour mimosas or coffee. Put your phones away.

This is the Valentine's Day morning you'll remember.