Chocolate Hazelnut Spread (THC Nutella)
(the one that ruins store-bought forever)
Makes about 3 cups · 900–1000 mg total THC (adjust to your dose)
Silky, spreadable, zero weed taste. Tastes exactly like the real Italian stuff, but sends you to the moon.
Ingredients
- 2 cups (260 g) whole roasted hazelnuts (skin-on is fine, we’ll remove it)
- 200 g 70–75 % dark chocolate (buttons or chopped bar)
- 150 g milk chocolate (for creaminess)
- ¾ cup (90 g) powdered sugar
- ⅓ cup (35 g) Dutch-process cocoa powder
- 2 tbsp hazelnut oil (or neutral oil)
- 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
- ½ tsp fine sea salt
- 1–2 tsp liquid sunflower lecithin (makes it silky + boosts absorption)
- 900–1000 mg THC distillate (clear, flavorless 90+ %) – start with 900 mg if you’re cautious
Gear
- Oven + sheet pan
- Food processor (must be strong)
- Double boiler or microwave
- Rubber spatula
- 16-oz glass jars
Steps (45 min total)
1. Roast hazelnuts at 350 °F for 12–15 min until skins crack and nuts smell insane.
2. Dump hot nuts into a clean kitchen towel, fold it over, and rub vigorously – most skins will come right off. Don’t obsess over the last bits.
3. Process warm, skinned nuts in food processor for 8–12 minutes, stopping to scrape sides. It will go from meal → ball → smooth runny hazelnut butter. Be patient.
4. While it’s running, melt both chocolates in a double boiler or microwave (30-sec bursts).
5. Add powdered sugar, cocoa powder, salt, vanilla, hazelnut oil, and lecithin to the processor. Blend until smooth.
6. With processor running, slowly pour in melted chocolate. Blend 1 minute.
7. Warm the THC distillate to ~160 °F (barely hot) so it’s pourable. Drizzle it in last while processor is running – it will vanish completely.
8. Taste (carefully) and adjust salt or sugar if needed. Blend one final minute.
9. Pour into clean jars while still warm. Cool to room temp, then lid and fridge.
Storage
Fridge → 3 months
Freezer → 12 months (thaw overnight in fridge)
Dosing examples
3 cups ≈ 710 ml → 900 mg total = ~1.25 mg per ml (¼ tsp)
1 tablespoon (15 ml) = ~19 mg THC
1 teaspoon (5 ml) = ~6 mg THC
Perfect for toast, crepes, spoon straight from jar at 2 a.m.
Pro moves
- Want it thinner? Add 1–2 extra tbsp warm MCT oil at the end.
- Want crunch? Fold in ¼ cup chopped roasted hazelnuts after blending.
- Vegan? Use all 70 % dark chocolate + oat milk powder instead of milk chocolate.
Keep it hidden or your roommates will finish the jar in one sitting (and then sleep for 14 hours). You’ve been warned.