Gingerbread Weed Houses (Holiday Drop)
(10 mg THC per standard-size house · the most dangerous Christmas decoration ever made)
Makes 6 large houses or 12 mini houses · Total batch 600 mg THC
Spicy, chewy, perfectly stoner gingerbread with zero green taste. Royal icing glue is also medicated.
Gingerbread Dough
- 3½ cups (440 g) all-purpose flour
- 1 tbsp ground cinnamon
- 1 tbsp ground ginger
- ½ tsp ground cloves
- ½ tsp ground nutmeg
- ¾ tsp baking soda
- ½ tsp fine salt
- ¾ cup (170 g) infused coconut oil or canna-butter (600 mg total THC) – room temp
- ¾ cup (150 g) dark brown sugar
- ½ cup (170 g) molasses
- 1 large egg
- 2 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 tbsp fresh grated ginger (optional, for extra bite)
Royal Icing “Glue” (also medicated)
- 3 cups (360 g) powdered sugar
- 2 large egg whites (or 3 tbsp meringue powder + 5 tbsp warm water for shelf-stable)
- 1–2 tsp water to thin
- 60–100 mg extra THC distillate (so the decorations hit too)
Decorations
- Gumdrops, peppermint wheels, mini candy canes, pretzels, sprinkles
- Green fondant or royal icing dyed green for weed-leaf cutouts (because subtlety is dead)
Steps
1. Make the dough
Whisk dry ingredients. In a stand mixer, cream infused fat + brown sugar 2–3 min. Add molasses, egg, vanilla, fresh ginger – beat until smooth. Add dry in two batches. Dough will be stiff. Divide in half, flatten into discs, wrap, chill 2 hours (or overnight).
2. Cut templates
Cardstock or parchment: two side walls, two roof pieces, front/back with door/window cutouts. Keep it simple or go full architect.
3. Roll & bake
Preheat 350 °F. Roll chilled dough ¼-inch thick on parchment (flour is your enemy – use powdered sugar instead). Cut pieces, slide parchment onto sheets, freeze 10 min (prevents spreading). Bake 10–14 min until edges just darken. Cool completely on sheet.
4. Medicated royal icing
Beat powdered sugar + egg whites 5–7 min until stiff peaks. Warm distillate to 160 °F, drizzle in while mixer runs on low. Adjust thickness with water. Load into piping bags.
5. Assemble
Pipe thick lines of icing on edges, hold 30–60 seconds until set. Use cans as supports while drying. Roof last. Let houses cure 2–3 hours before heavy decorating.
6. Decorate like a degenerate
Weed-leaf windows, gumdrop bongs on the roof, pretzel smoke stacks, sprinkle “snow” everywhere. Go hard.
Storage
Airtight at room temp → 2 weeks
Fridge → 1 month (icing hardens more)
Dosing
Large house (100 g dough) ≈ 10 mg
Mini house (50 g) ≈ 5 mg
One bite of roof + a gumdrop = you’re already behind the wheel of the Polar Express.
Pro tips
- Want crispy houses? Bake 2–3 min longer.
- Want chewy? Pull early and underbake slightly.
- Make a double batch of dough and freeze half – it keeps 3 months.
Build one with your friends, eat the chimney, and let the holidays take care of themselves.
Merry Christmas, you beautiful degenerates.