Maple-Bacon “Breakfast of Champions” THC Donuts (25 mg each)
Old-fashioned sour-cream cake donuts, fried in rendered bacon fat, glazed with Grade-A dark Vermont maple syrup that’s been infused with 300 mg of clean THC, then rolled in house-candied bacon bits the size of your regrets. These are the donuts you eat at 10 a.m. while telling yourself “it’s basically brunch.” By 11:30 you’re on the couch watching cartoons in 4K with the volume off, wondering why the colors have feelings.
Makes 12 standard donuts + 12 holes (24 total pieces)
Active time: 2½ hours | Total time: 5 hours + 10-day infusion
Dosage: 25 mg THC per full donut (12.5 mg per hole)
Start the infusion 10 days early
- 5.45 oz cannabis flower testing 22 % THC (exactly 1200 mg raw → 300 mg usable after decarb + fat extraction)
Decarb at 237 °F for 57 minutes, cool in oven 40 minutes.
Maple-bacon infusion (makes 3 cups / exactly 300 mg usable THC)
- 4 cups rendered bacon fat (from 5–6 lb thick-cut bacon, cooked low and slow)
- 5.45 oz decarbed flower, coarse ground
- 1 tsp sunflower lecithin granules
- ½ cup Grade-A dark robust Vermont maple syrup (added at the end)
Render bacon until you have 4 cups clear fat. Strain, return fat to pot. Heat to 185 °F, add lecithin and weed. Hold 185 °F (water bath works great) for 3 hours, stirring every 30 minutes. Strain hot through triple cheesecloth, then coffee filter when cooled to 100 °F. Stir in the ½ cup maple syrup while still warm. Chill solid. It will look like bacon toffee and smell illegal in 12 states.
Candied bacon bits
- 1 lb thick-cut applewood-smoked bacon, diced ¼-inch
- ¾ cup dark brown sugar
- ⅓ cup Vermont maple syrup
- Pinch cayenne
Cook bacon until almost crisp, drain half the fat, add sugar, syrup, and cayenne. Cook on medium until deep mahogany and sticky. Spread on parchment, cool completely, then chop to gravel size. Store airtight.
Donut dough (old-fashioned sour-cream style)
- 4 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 1 tsp baking soda
- ¾ tsp kosher salt
- ½ tsp fresh grated nutmeg
- ⅔ cup granulated sugar
- 4 tbsp unsalted butter, soft
- 2 large eggs + 1 yolk
- 1 cup full-fat sour cream
- 2 tsp vanilla extract
Whisk dry ingredients. Cream butter and sugar, add eggs one at a time. Alternate sour cream and dry mix. Dough will be soft and sticky; chill 2 hours minimum (overnight is better).
Roll & cut
Roll chilled dough ½-inch thick on floured surface. Cut with 3½-inch donut cutter (or two round cutters). Place on parchment squares, cover, proof 45 minutes until puffy.
Fry
Heat the infused bacon fat to exactly 350 °F in a wide, heavy pot (never more than half full). Fry 3–4 donuts at a time, 90 seconds per side until deep golden. Drain on rack over sheet pan.
Glaze while hot
- 2 cups powdered sugar
- ½ cup of the infused bacon-maple fat, melted
- ¼ cup whole milk
- Pinch salt
Whisk until smooth and shiny. Dunk warm donuts fully, let excess drip, then immediately roll in candied bacon bits.
Final hit
While glaze is still wet, sprinkle a tiny pinch of Maldon salt on top.
25 mg in each full donut. Eat one with black coffee and pretend you’re still a functioning adult. Eat two and you’ll spend the rest of the day trying to explain to your dog why the ceiling is breathing.
God bless America.