Seattle Salmon Candy Teriyaki Skewer Bombs with THC-Infused Maple-Soy Glaze (65 mg each)

Seattle Salmon Candy Teriyaki Skewer Bombs with THC-Infused Maple-Soy Glaze (65 mg each)

These are the skewers that make grown lumberjacks cry into their flannel. Wild king salmon brined like lox, cold-smoked over alder until it turns into mahogany candy, then cubed and skewered with chunks of fresh pineapple. Right before service they get hit with a lacquer of THC-infused maple-teriyaki glaze so shiny you can see the Space Needle in it. The glaze alone carries 780 mg total, reduced until it sets like stained glass. One bite and you’re standing on a dock in Ballard watching orca whales do backflips while Kurt Cobain’s ghost plays “Smells Like Teen Spirit” on a ukulele made of rain.

Makes 12 large double skewers  

Active time: 3 hours | Total time: 2 days + 14-day infusion  

Dosage: 65 mg THC per skewer (780 mg total in the glaze)

THC maple-teriyaki glaze (780 mg total)  

- 2 cups pure dark maple syrup (Grade B if you can find it)  

- 1 cup tamari or dark soy sauce  

- ½ cup mirin  

- ¼ cup rice vinegar  

- 6 cloves garlic, smashed  

- 2-inch knob ginger, sliced  

- 2 tbsp toasted sesame oil  

- 1 tsp cayenne  

- 780 mg flavorless distillate (warmed to 100 °F)

Reduce everything except distillate by two-thirds over low heat until it coats a spoon like napalm. Cool to 100 °F, whisk in distillate until mirror-shiny. Bottle and rest 14 days for flavors to marry.

Salmon candy  

- 3 lb skinless wild king salmon fillet, pin bones removed  

Brine: 4 cups water + ½ cup kosher salt + ⅓ cup brown sugar + 2 tbsp pink curing salt #1 → brine 6 hours  

Rinse, pat dry, air-dry in fridge on rack 12 hours until pellicle forms  

Cold-smoke with alder chips at <90 °F for 6–8 hours until deep bronze and firm  

Cut into perfect 1½-inch cubes (you need 48 cubes)

Assembly  

- 1 fresh pineapple, cut into 1½-inch chunks  

- 12 long metal or soaked bamboo skewers

Thread: salmon cube → pineapple → salmon → pineapple → salmon → pineapple → salmon (4 salmon + 3 pineapple per skewer)  

Grill or torch hard on all sides until the salmon edges caramelize but the center stays buttery (about 2 minutes total).  

Brush heavily with the warm THC glaze front and back.  

Hit once more with glaze right at service so it drips like liquid gold.

Serve standing upright in a block of Himalayan salt or on cedar planks with extra glaze on the side and a growler of Manny’s Pale Ale you’ll never finish.

65 mg per skewer.  

Eat one and you’ll start calling everyone “buddy” and apologizing to the trees.  

Eat two and you’ll wake up in Puget Sound wearing nothing but salmon skin and a ferry schedule tattooed on your chest.  

Keep it weird, Pacific Northwest. 🌲🐟🍁